Somebody Stole My Hole
From the Album Weave
Somebody stole my hole, it ain’t nowhere to be seen
It was there last night when I turned out the light
Over there on that patch of green
I just can’t carry on, now my hole is gone
You better watch out there’s a thief about
Yea somebody stole my hole
Well I spent all day working through that clay
In wind and rain and sun
My back is sore, and I’m pretty damn sure
I must have moved a ton
It ain’t hard to describe its round and wide
With nothing in between
But there ain’t a soul that’s seen my hole
Now I’m feeling pretty damn mean
I didn’t waste time in reporting that crime
They asked where I’d seen it last
I said late last night when I turned out the light
Then I thought I heard someone laugh
Send a patrol to find my hole
I screamed at the policeman
He said I ain’t got time to fight this crime
But our finding a hole man can
I put down that phone and waited at home
But the hole man never came
So early next day I took out my spade
Intending to start again.
I tried to start but I had no heart
Even half a hole was just too much
So I drank some beer and I held back a tear
Till my thoughts had turned to mush
Gawd bless my soul I miss that hole
And I curse the thief that came
Life goes, on I’ll carry on
But I’ll never be the same again
THE STORY BEHIND THE SONG
Anyone doubting that inspiration is passed down to us by some supernatural force might like to explain to me why this crazy title came to me as I was on my way to the terasa for my afternoon swim. I hadn’t been thinking about holes, been anywhere near one, or even eaten polo mint.