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I Hated What I Found

From the Album  The Minstrel

I was standing on the platform waiting for the train to come
To take my hopes and all my dreams to the other side of town
To a side that’s just as lonely as the one that I’d come from
I’d been changing sides for twenty years trying to find where I belong

It was just then that a train pulled in on the other side of the track
The sight of her hit me so hard it took my mind right back
To a time when we were married so many years ago
It was only then I realised how much I’d loved her so

I said I had to leave her as tears fell from our eyes
And through the tears all I could see was me, myself and I
I said I had to find myself, it sounded so profound
At last I knew I’d found myself, but I hated what I’d found

I know she never saw me there and that gave me some relief
To see me as a broken man I knew would give her grief
She reached across and took his hand and held her children tight
There’s nothing that I’ve ever seen as cruel as that sight

I’ve walked 1000 miles or more without going anywhere
found a thousand answers as to why nobody cares
there’s none so blind that seek the truth in a sea of empty words
I spent my life looking at the stars instead of listening to the birds


I used to play squash at a club where one of the least popular members informed us one day that he was leaving his girlfriend and giving up his job because he wanted to travel and “find himself.” Like many who have the same intention, the implication was he was going to find a great writer, painter or philosopher. If only he had asked around, we could have saved him a lot of trouble and told him what he would find…an arsehole.