Nemo James

Bobby Two Beers

Song Not Yet Released

Chorus
Bobby two beers he’s a hell of a man
He can drink more beer than a watering can can
If you ever find yourself up Norway way
Ask anyone and here’s what they’ll say
Boby two beers he’s the man
Get his autograph while you can

My pal Bob came around one day
Just to hear me pick a few tunes
There was Siv banging gently on an old tin can
And Bobby grooving nicely on spoons
I consider myself a real good host
There was plenty of beer and wine
But I couldn’t keep up with Bob as he drank
So I had to serve two at a time

For Bob, every day is a bad hair day
But that don’t matter of course
Cause his heart’s as big as a big elephant’s
And they say that he’s hung like a horse
He once fought an alligator in a fair fight
Bounced a bear around the walls
He sang Bob Dylan’s Blowing in the wind
While he held a tiger by the balls

THE STORY BEHIND THE SONG

I gave up on music for the second time in 1999 and sold all my guitars and recording equipment. In 2010, my autobiography Just a Few Seconds was published. Writing it was a pleasant trip down memory lane, but it was also a way of finding closure to that chapter of my life. I never thought I would play again and didn’t miss it in the slightest, but then I met Bob.

Every year, Bob and his family came to Mlini from their home in Norway. He rented an apartment from my sister-in-law, and as it was his birthday, she made a big lunch in his honour and invited Federika and I. Bob was very interested in my musical background so bought a copy of my autobiography and a CD. Two days later, he came round to our house to tell me he had finished my book and wanted to buy four more copies for his friends. During my career, I met a lot of people who liked my music, and I sold thousands of CD’s and tapes, but I had never known anyone as enthusiastic about my music as Bob. I invited him and his family around for a drink that night, and he agreed on the condition that I played something for him. How could I refuse?

There was a cheap guitar hanging on our wall, so that afternoon, I took it down and started playing for the first time in twelve years. To my surprise, not only was I still able to play, but I enjoyed it. I started with the Bob Dylan classic Don’t think twice it’s alright, which was strange because it had never been in my repertoire. It literally came from nowhere. Even stranger, was when I sang it that night, Bob was dumbstruck, as not only was he a big Bob Dylan fan, but that was his favourite song. From that day on, I started playing again and was surprised to find myself playing better than ever.
And the story behind the song? I always like to make sure our guests’ glasses are topped up, but it was difficult with Bob, as every time I looked, I saw his glass was empty. I got so tired of going back and forth to the fridge that I started serving him two beers at a time. Bob was delighted with the service and his new nickname, although his wife wasn’t so pleased